


From Slopes and Contours

by abcooper



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-22 08:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9596786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abcooper/pseuds/abcooper
Summary: post ep 2.10, Kara has a revelation. The only person she wants to share it with is halfway round the world - good thing she can fly.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fictorium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/gifts).



> Happy birthday Lola-pie :)

It was almost 4 o’clock in the morning when Kara landed on the balcony with a solid thud. She hadn’t totally thought that through - it had been late evening when she’d taken off from her apartment, fueled by anger and shaky revelations. It wasn’t until she saw the glimmer of pre-dawn light lazily licking at cobbled streets that she remembered the time difference between National City and Paris.

For a moment Kara hesitated, stricken. She’d been so fired up, so  _ angry _ , that she’d been ready to face the awkwardness of knocking unexpectedly on a door in the late evening. 4am felt different, somehow. 4am was intimate.

Before she could make up her mind, the curtain was pressed to the side and the glass balcony door opened. Kara stared.

Cat was radiant. In the six months since Kara had seen her last, her hair had grown so that it brushed her shoulders, curling enticingly. She’d obviously been asleep for once; messy strands of it were knotted together, and one particularly unruly curl was stuck to the corner of her mouth.  Her cheek was pink and creased by the fabric of her pillow case.

“Supergirl?” she asked, forehead wrinkling. “Is something wrong?”

“You can call me Kara,” Kara answered, and watched as Cat’s eyes widened in shock, her mouth falling slightly open. “I know you already know.”   


“True,” Cat agreed. She brushed her hair back from her face, fully awake now. It was only when she felt the pang of disappointment that Kara realized her fingers had been itching to do that herself. Then she leveled a penetrating stare in Kara’s direction. “Do you know how long I’ve known?”

“I don’t think I ever really threw you back off my trail after Dirk Amstrong,” Kara admitted, but Cat shook her head.

“I knew when I saw the picture of you, sopping wet on the wing of that airplane. Your sister was on it, wasn’t she?”

Kara nodded, dumbstruck, and Cat finally stepped back from the balcony door in invitation. “Well, come inside, then - I suppose this conversation is long overdue. Keep the volume down, Carter is asleep down the hall.”

Cat’s Paris apartment was all sleek modernity combined with Classic Parisian decor. The balcony opened up into Cat’s bedroom - which explained how the sound of Kara’s landing had been enough to awaken her, Kara supposed.

It was beautiful, but hardwood floors and antique furniture could hardly compare to a sleep mussed Cat Grant wearing a gray bathrobe, and that was what held Kara’s attention. She watched as Cat padded across the carpet in bare feet to settle herself on a gray settee, waving impatiently for Kara to join her when Kara spent a moment too long just staring.

“So, what brings you here to share your secrets at the crack of dawn?” Cat asked, looking at her expectantly, and Kara tried to find her way back to the anger-borne confidence that had carried her this far, but it was gone now in the face of Cat Grant’s vastness.

“Well, you didn’t leave me a number I could call, or I might have tried that as step one,” she muttered, embarrassed and resentful in equal measure.

Cat’s lips quirked in what looked like amusement, but Kara thought she caught a hint of something quieter and more regretful in Cat’s tone when she said, “it was for the best.”

“Why?” Kara asked, and then at Cat’s look clarified further, “Why was it for the best?  _ James _ had your number.”

“You were diving. I didn’t want to tether you to the shore. Whereas James, it seems, could have used a little more tethering.”  Kara snorted - even feeling resentful about Cat’s abandonment, it was gratifying to hear that Cat agreed with her about Guardian.

“I wish you’d stayed in contact,” she admitted, and found her way back to a little of that anger as she added, “I wish you’d asked what I wanted, instead of just assuming you knew.”

“You’ve always trusted my guidance in the past,” Cat pointed out, but Kara could see that she was listening. And maybe that was what she missed most about Cat, if she was being honest with herself - there were so many people in her life who loved her, but sometimes Kara wasn’t sure that anyone actually  _ heard _ her.

Cat was certainly hearing her now - Kara could see it in the pierce of her hazel eyes, that Cat could hear how much more Kara had to say, and she waited patiently until Kara found the words to get it out.

“There’s this…. guy, I met a little after you left. He thinks he’s in love with me, I guess?” It sounded stupid when she said it out loud, and Kara blushed a little at the thought that she was sharing middle school gossip with the queen of all media, but Cat just rolled her eyes a little.

“Is he being irritatingly persistent about it? Not that I approve of the inherent sexism, but can’t you just let James loudly lay claim?”

“I’m not dating James,” Kara denied a little forcefully. “I don’t want to. I thought I did - you and Alex kept telling me I did, and he was handsome and interested. It didn’t even occur to me that I didn’t want to until he was there, kissing me, and I just…… wanted it to stop.”

“Nobody asked you what you wanted, and you didn’t even think to ask yourself,” Cat summarized, and Kara nodded, relieved at the understanding.

“And then Mon El came by last night and started waxing poetic about his feelings for me, and I - I found myself thinking, ‘oh god, he’s going to kiss me,’ and it didn’t even occur to me that I could say no.”   
  
“Kara….” Cat sounded stricken, and she reached out to place a gentle hand on Kara’s wrist. Abruptly Kara realized what the concern was.

“Nothing happened! Nothing I didn’t want,” she promised, and didn’t mention high school and being 15 and trying to figure out this alien culture and saying yes all the time because she didn’t know when she was allowed to say no. This time, nothing had happened. “He knew I wasn’t interested. But I - I felt like it was his choice to make, not mine. I felt like I only escaped because he let me, even though I - I could throw him through the wall if I wanted to.”

Cat hadn’t removed her hand, and Kara leaned into the contact just a little, grateful for it. She’d sat alone in her apartment after Mon El had left, shaking and afraid in a way that she had struggled to explain to herself. It was hard to say it aloud when she had only just started to understand it, but she was grateful for the opportunity to put it into words. It felt like she was solidifying her grasp on the revelation before it could slip away from her.

“You told me to own my power,” she said, going slowly as she felt the thought out. “And I guess I started to see what you meant, a little. I feel - I feel as though other people have been making my decisions for me for longer than I even realized. Telling me not to use my powers, telling me how to blend in, how to exist here. And even before that, telling me -” her voice cracked without her permission, and Cat’s grip tightened on her as she forced herself to add, “telling me to get into a pod and survive while everyone else died.”

Cat was quiet for a moment - a respectful silence as she let Kara’s tears fall unchecked before she answered. “Those are big choices to have had taken away from you - though you’ll forgive me for being glad that you survived, however it happened. But I think you’re leaving some important pieces out of that narrative. You made the choice to become Supergirl. You made the choice to save Alex Danvers’ life regardless of the consequences. You shouldered that burden, and it made you stronger. You can’t change the past, but you have a choice about every step forward you take from here.”

The sun was starting to rise outside the balcony window, and Cat eyed it calmly as her thumb stroked soothingly along Kara’s wrist. “You’ve come to me for advice in the past, and I’ve tried to be a mentor to you, but it sounds to me like you already know what you need to do. I stand by my previous wisdom, which was clearly even more on point than I realized at the time - time to own your power, Kara.”

“I know,” Kara answered, because she did. She hadn’t flown to Paris because she needed Cat’s help unpacking this one. She was glad Cat was keeping her eyes on the sunrise, so that she couldn’t watch Kara watching her. “I’m not here for advice, exactly. I wanted to see you because I realized that owning my power meant - meant more than just taking on responsibilities, or making sacrifices. I want to own my own happiness too. I want to reach for it, even when it’s impossibly out of reach.” She steeled herself and reached out to cup Cat’s cheek gently in her hand, turning Cat’s face toward her.

Cat’s eyes were wide, but she didn’t look confused. The shadows of the dawn light were cast across her face, making it hard to read, making her eyes stand out as they shined with an emotion Kara couldn’t interpret. “Kara….” she started, and Kara cut her off.

“Just - I want to say this, and then you can answer, OK?” She didn’t even realize she had stroked her thumb along Cat’s cheek until she felt Cat go very still under her hand. When she pulled it back, Cat leaned forward just a bit as though to prolong the contact. It filled Kara with a breathless hope.

She knew what she wanted. She didn’t know if she could have it, but she thought she had the same right that Mon El had, that Winn had, that Alex had - to ask for it at least, and then listen to the answer.

“I’ve missed you every day since you left, Cat. And  _ not  _ because I wanted a mentor, or because I wanted you to tether me to the shore. I’ve missed  _ you _ . I’ve missed your energy and your sarcasm, and I’ve missed how  _ beautiful  _ you are. I’ve missed the breathless, dizzy daring that it took to rise up and be your equal. It took me a really long time to figure out why I missed you so much, but I have figured it out, finally.”

“And what did you realize?” Cat husked. Through the window, the first real rays of sunlight started to shine in, bright against the white walls, bouncing lovingly off of Cat’s gleaming blonde hair. Kara understood that Cat was giving her permission to lean in, to take Cat’s face gently into her hands.

“This,” she murmured, brushing those incredible curls back from Cat’s eyes to tuck them behind her ear.

When Kara kissed her, Cat kissed back.


End file.
